Be honest, if you do a snap poll of yourself, would you say you’re generally happy or unhappy?
We have a shortage of happy people in the world, and sometimes I’m one of the not-happy ones. What about you? And now, with the presidential election day upon us, it appears that about half of the US is preparing to be happy or unhappy. But in fact, over the course of the last 20 years, about 60% of Americans identify as being happy, while 40% are unhappy. So a split like this isn’t a new thing.
Is happiness something we only get when things go our way: our team wins, our project is completed, we get the final grade or job we want, etc. Or maybe its even more spontaneous, just a moment that sneaks up on you, lasts for about 30 seconds, and then poof, back to monotony. But what if you can take steps that actually help you be in a more reasonably happy state, not dependent on your circumstances or the serendipitous moment? (Without the use of “medicinal” enhancements.)
I believe you can, by engaging in a few daily practices that can help you cultivate a happy frame of mind that is not only fulfilling but also contagious. And what could be better than genuinely and generously doling out “happy” to those you care about everyday. We could all really use this right now. So let’s look at one of them.
Step 1: Practice gratitude. Its impossible to read mental and emotional health studies without the mention of the power of gratitude. And as a follower of Jesus, I don’t have to try to manufacture gratitude. I can start each day with gratitude for who He is and what He has done on my behalf. For example, I’m deeply loved as a child of God. All my sins are forgiven, and He does not condemn me. That’s a great start to each day, and there are many more such as these to reflect on.
But that’s not all. You can start through a list of the people and experiences that are also true: family, friends, your job, the various wonders of creation that you enjoy, etc. It helps to turn our minds from the focus on what’s not going right, to the positive things that we already have in our lives.
But what if many of those people or situations are not going so well? What about in times of true desperation or sadness, where death, illness, or some other pain are your experience right now. Stated simply, yes of course there is a season for everything, as Solomon so eloquently stated in Ecclesiastes 3. (And The Byrds sang so well and made so popular in my youth.)
But I’m referring here to the general tenor of our lives. If we are chronically unhappy, we may be giving in to catastrophizing over what has happened or even what might happen. Often, this kind of disappointment with life is an abnormal focus on first world problems, an expectation that life should give me a whole lot better of something than what I’m getting.
In fact, there are many examples of people who managed to discover joy and happiness even in the midst of privation and lack. This isn’t an outward performance to act like everything is fine when the reality says otherwise. Its decision after decision to be grateful, to see the positives, and to trust God’s ultimate plan – especially in the hard times – that really grows into happiness over time. Just like any trait, it takes time to develop. And it doesn’t grow only in seasons of plenty or prosperity. It grows to maturity in seasons of hardship.
So, why not right now, and then first thing tomorrow morning, take 5 minutes with some gratitude practice. And I’ll write more soon about other steps you can take to be a generally happy person. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be happy. But for most of us in today’s world – which seems to promise us so much happiness and deliver so little – it takes more deliberate steps on our part to see it come to fruition.